


Why Does It Hurt, If It's Not Meant To Be?

by LilianaSnow



Series: Four Born of Lust and Pride [24]
Category: Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco, Set It Off (Band), Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Dreams, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fever Dreams, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Medical Examination, Miscarriage, Mpreg, Night Terrors, Philosophy, Prophetic Visions, Self-Acceptance, Suicide Attempt, Toxic Pregnancy, Visions, Visions in dreams
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-11
Updated: 2018-07-11
Packaged: 2019-06-08 16:09:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15246948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilianaSnow/pseuds/LilianaSnow
Summary: Okay, can I make a confession? I think Zack Joseph is hotter than Tyler...





	Why Does It Hurt, If It's Not Meant To Be?

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, can I make a confession? I think Zack Joseph is hotter than Tyler...

When Spencer showed off his pregnancy test, Cody had been really happy for him. They had a house lined up; Spence had a job; Dallon was teaching music to friends' children, and wanted to start a school of music for them. Patrick unloaded advice on him and offered help.

But now, in his fevered state, he resented the men around him. He saw blood on his sheets. He saw Maxx sobbing in Pete's arms. He saw himself, dazed and pushing Pongo away. He saw Joe and Andy trying to keep him away from their babies, and himself bursting into tears upon seeing Rhydian. He saw the cops who had rescued them, and Dan, and a few other men he didn't recognize but guessed were friends of the cops, moving Spencer and Dallon out. He saw the carriers he knew looking away from him, not making eye contact.

And, last, he saw everyone standing together, sweaty and out of breath.

* * *

Cody woke up in the middle of the afternoon. The sun was shining. He could hear a baby boy babbling, Andy reprimanding Saint for pulling on Joe's hair, and Maxx tiredly speaking to someone. Probably Pete. Maxx liked Pete.

He could also hear Patrick and Brendon humming together while they did something in the laundry room. Probably another load of baby clothes.

He sat up, stretched, and looked around. He felt a wetness in his pants and cramps in his abdomen. He threw off the blanket and screamed.

Everyone ran in, and Maxx looked horrified. There was blood staining the white sheets. He watched his lover turn to sob into Pete's chest. Brendon and Patrick closed in and began to help Cody up. Cody wailed and grabbed the sheets, clutching them tight and pushing everyone away.

* * *

"I'm sorry, Mr. Carson. Whatever the fever was, it caused miscarriage." The doctor sounded cold and unforgiving.

Cody curled around himself. He didn't know why nobody else was there. He suspected that Spencer didn't want to be around him for fear he'd lose Dallon's baby. He didn't blame him. He guessed nobody else cared enough to be there. It was dark.

The doctor's fingers were cold, in the morning, when he went to be examined to see if he'd be able to carry babies. His head was aching, and what was being done hurt. He hated this.

"Mr. Carson, Mr. Danziger, I have some news." The doctor addressed them both happily. "The pregnancy you lost, according to the tests we've run, would have killed you. The fever was your body purging the DNA, which was so adverse, it seemed almost unhuman. If you become pregnant again, you will carry full-term."

"Thanks," Cody murmured unhappily.

 "I'm sorry that you were pained by this, Mr. Carson. But I want you to try to feel better. This wasn't meant to be."

Maxx glared at the doctor, holding Cody's shaking form. "Then why does it hurt?"

* * *

The next two weeks were a blur. He never saw the babies- they weren't allowed near him. He rarely even left his room, and they treated it like a big thing when he did. Andy and Spencer excused themselves whenever he did, always needing to do something or other. He barely had the energy to eat or sleep. He was distant, even from Maxx.

Dallon gave him a stiff hug three weeks after the miscarriage, mumbling something about calling him if he needed. Cody looked past him, seeing Zack, Zack, and Zach fighting to move a dresser into a trailer outside.

"I will."

Cody moved aside, watching Tyler and a thin guy he'd been told was "Mikey" walk past with bags of clothes. Behind him were people he'd been told were "Josh," "Gerard," and "Frank," all carrying toys.

Dan offered a hand to Cody, with a foot on the stairs. Cody brushed past him to get a drink of water.

He saw Andy at the sink, rinsing out Rhydian's hair, and turned away. He ran by the men working on moving them out.

Dan and Patrick were the first to follow. Soon, everybody except for Joe and Andy were chasing after him, attenpting to stop him. Cody didn't care. He kept running until he saw a bridge, seeing it clearly. They'd spend a week crying. But him?

Pearly gates. Wisps of clouds. Or meathooks through his head. Flames licking his toes. He didn't care, as long as all this stopped.

He fell off, and Maxx almost followed, sobbing. The entire group was watching, ready to dive in and help. He watched them as he hit the water. _It'll all be over soon, Cody._

* * *

He woke up in yet another hospital room. On the other side of the room, he saw Zack- the one Brendon liked to talk to. Howell? No, Hall. He had a bandage around his head. If Cody was reading the context clues right, Zack had jumped in to save him and gotten a concussion. Poor guy.

Cody watched, in tears, as the doctors swarmed him again.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Don't expect an update in this or anything else anytime soon, or new posts. I'm having a mental breakdown and I'm taking a break. It will last at least a week, IDK how much longer, but I know I will definitely be back as soon as I can. I'm sorry.


End file.
